I was living in Nashville after college and was always looking for something more. So earlier this year, I made a huge decision. I decided to pack up my things and move to the Big Apple!
It takes a lot of courage to move to a brand new city, everything becomes uncertain. NYC wasn’t even at the top of my list until January; so I was terrified if this was the right city for me. So going through this; I’ve come up with some tips and thoughts of moving to a brand new city!
Spoiler Alert: I ended up finding an amazing job and couldn’t be happier that I made this decision!
Make This Decision For You
I’ve always wanted to move to a big city in my twenties. At first I wanted to move with a friend because I was scared to do it on my own. However, I learned that making a decision this big has to be because you want it!
I dreamed about moving to a big city and I was constantly scared of never doing it. I didn’t want to keep living my life and wonder “what if.” So if this is a dream of yours – DO IT. Super cheesy, but you have 1 life so what’s holding you back?!? This might be the only time in your life, where you can be selfish.
I was terrified to move – leaving my family, friends and bf. I had no idea if this was going to ruin everything that I know and love. However, what’s life without pushing yourself to do more? Try something new, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
One my of favorite parts about moving was telling friends and family. Everybody I talked to had their own “what if” story. My mom always wanted to move to Atlanta and never did because she got pregnant with my brother (lol). She has no regrets!!! However, always wondered what if she made that move? My grandmother had a similar one and after hearing all of these stories I knew I was making my “what if” story come true.
The only person who is going to give you security and the life you want is you.
Be Prepared For Everything To Change
My life is now completely different. Moving to a new place really feels like you’re walking straight into the dark. I had no idea if I was going to love it, hate it, make friends, fail completely at my job, basically nothing was certain other than this was going to be my new home.
I love planning things out and knowing what was coming next. Moving somewhere new, forced me to give that up and basically roll with the punches. Funnily enough my anxiety is better here than back home. You have to prepare yourself for whatever comes at you. Might sound bad but honestly lower your expectations because no city is a complete fairy tale. Within the change you will find your spot in that city.
Making Friends Requires A Lot Of Effort
I came to NYC without knowing anybody. It’s scary as hell and honestly so hard to make friends as an adult. Personally I don’t really love small talk, so I was pretty scared. I’ve made such great friends in TN, I was scared of not finding a core group in a new city. One huge tip is that sometimes skipping the surface (small talk) and getting to the heart of who you are can take that casual coffee date to the next soul-enriching level of conversation. You might just have to be vulnerable first.
Going off of that; you really have to put yourself out there. To start, I would establish what you like to do and find people that are doing the same things. True friendships take a looooong time to develop, so don’t get upset if you are just hanging by yourself the first couple of weekends. You have to be okay with spending a few Friday nights alone, but this is also a curial time for you to learn. Learn to love spending time with yourself and soon before you realize, you’ll start making more connections.
Now, one of my favorite parts of moving to a new city has been making new friends. It’s like a fresh start. One thing I would say is surround yourself with people that are going to empower you to do the things you like to do or things you want to do. Always wanted to pick up a new hobby? Find friends that are already doing that and put yourself out there!
Give It Time
Give yourself time to settle into your new city. It’s going to be rare to love everything right off the bat. Everything is new and you’ll often feel uncomfortable at least 10 times a day. Building a home for yourself takes time so don’t stress too much about not feeling at home at first.
At some point, you will be over this whole transitional period that you’ll spend all your time Netflix-ing and researching flight deals to your hometown.
And that’s OK!!!! Time spent at home is definitely needed. Building a life somewhere new takes time. Also, don’t be afraid to be honest in sharing that you’re actually having a difficult time. Almost everyone can relate to a time of feeling new; You just might have to open up first.
One thing I had to keep telling myself before moving is that nothing is permanent. You will either settle in and LOVE your new home but just know that it’s okay if you don’t.
Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.
Moving cities is one of the biggest decisions you can make! You should be proud of yourself for making a huge decision like this. It’s scary but even if you go and it doesn’t work out, you still win. You had the guts to go straight into something frightening. That type of bravery will take you places. A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing new ever grows there, so you have to push yourself to do the scary stuff to get to where you want. I promise you won’t regret it.
Every experience, both the good and the bad, will eventually get you to where you are supposed to be. Every win, every loss and every mistake. Don’t be afraid to fuck up and don’t except success overnight. Get lost, get so lost and find yourself over and over again. Work hard and don’t stop until you make yourself proud.”
Xoxo – Rachel